Source: Moonbattery.com
January - The Moonbat Messiah was inaugurated before a crowd that made rude chants at the departing President Bush and
completely and utterly trashed the National Mall. And that was just the news media. The Moonbat Messiah immediately began
filling his cabinet with tax cheats, dirty lawyers, radical communists, and eugenicists. One of his first acts was to sign
a $787 Billion "Stimulus" package that promised to restore the USA to economic prosperity by the fall.
February - Obama's EPA began laying the groundwork to declare all human activity subject to Government regulation, via
the human capacity for CO2 production, which the EPA designated a deadly gas despite the fact that plants need it to survive.
The right-wing began to make jokes about Obama's Teleprompter dependency. It would be eight months before the left would do
the same.
March - The Green Left designated polar bears the official iconic megafauna of the Global Warming Hoax, using a picture
of some bears on an ice floe to claim that the big white beasts were facing extinction (when, in the real world, their numbers
are increasing.) Lady M'Chel put in an appearance at soup kitchen and showed off her $540 kicks. Obama also rewarded his friends
in Hamas with $900 Million in taxpayer dollars to thank them for their incessant rocket attacks against Israel.
Oh, and Keith Olbermann pitched
a snit fit when Ann Coulter revealed that his prized Cornell degree actually came from Cornell's cow college affiliate.
April - It was discovered the Global Warmists were lying about sea ice melting away. Obama sent Air Force 1 to buzz
lower Manhattan, just for kicks and giggles. Benedict Arlen
Specter made a principled decision to become a Democrat when polls showed he was cheese toast if he ran as a Republican. Also,
the totally free market "don't you dare call them socialists" government of B. Hussein Obama completed the nationalization
of General Motors, with the Government and their union allies owning 80% of the company after telling investors who had loaned
the companies billions "Be gone, Running Dog parasites! The means of production belong to the workers now."
In response to the predations
of the Obamunists, a round of tea-parties were held to correspond with April 15th tax day. Distinguished journalists like
Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow giggled like fifth graders at the word "tea-bag."
May - The Progressive Left focused its rage and scorn on a person who represented the most serious threat to the
American way of life in all the 233 years of the Republic's existence. I refer, of course, to Carrie Prejean; who received
the kind of treatment from the mainstream media Hitler might have gotten had he been caught throwing puppies into a wood chipper.
June - It was discovered that the EPA was burying memos that said Global Warming wasn't actually happening, per se.
Also, 62 year old "comedian" David Letterman took a break from molesting the interns in his Manhattan production company to make some rape jokes about Sarah Palin's daughters; because
it's just so funny when 62 year old men make lecherous jokes about young teenage girls.
President Barack Obama demonstrated
his administration's commitment to transparency and the rule of law by firing an Inspector General who was investigating massive
corruption on the part of one of M'Chel's cronies.
The Iranian Regime responded to
pro-democracy demonstrations by brutally cracking down on protesters, murdering some in the street, and rounding up others
for summary execution. To show his concern and support for democracy, President Obama went out and bought ice cream for his
dog.
July - Patriots celebrated the 4th of July with more tea parties to rouse a resistance against a president and a
congress Hell bent on tearing down the Republic the founding fathers fought so hard and sacrificed so much to bring into being.
A West Coast blogger found a book co-authored by Obama's technology czar in which he advocated forced sterilizations and coerced
abortions as a means of population control. Lefties defended him by saying, "It was the '70's." Not a reassuring defense given
their moonbat messiah president's fondness for Jimmy Carter's policies. Meanwhile, crazy, lying, FoxNews personality Glenn
Beck put up some crazy story about how Obama's (Ho! Ho! Ho!) Green Jobs czar Van Jones was a radical communist 911 troofer.
Beck was denounced as lying, insane, and dangerous. Within two weeks, Van Jones resigned in the middle of the night because
... well, because Beck was right. Keith Olbermann demanded that Beck be fired and threatened to engage in deranged, vituperative
rants on his show every night until that happened.
Also, a racist Harvard professor
got into a dispute with a white cop. PBO... who would later admonish Americans not to "jump to conclusions" about a mass murdering
jihadist at Fort Hood and an attempting mass-murdering jihadist in Detroit... immediately declared in a press conference that
the cop had "acted stupidly" while admitting he didn't know all the facts of the case.
And, a peer-reviewed article in
the Journal of Geophysical Research confirmed that climate cycles are natural and Global Warming is a hoax.
August - Democrat Congresspersons heard from their constituents on the Obama-Pelosi Health Care bill. Since they didn't
like what they heard, they announced that all future contact with constituents would be limited to registered members of the
SEIU. The SEUI responded by beating up black people and old ladies outside town hall meetings. One especially zealous thug
bit off a guy's finger. Lefties responded with, "Under ObamaCare, people who have their fingers bitten off by Union Thugs
will have them sewed back on for free," leaving out the word "eventually."
The infamous "Obama as Joker"
poster appeared. Leftists went into apoplectic fits at this heresy against the Messiah, and pointed out
that no president in history had ever been defaced in such
a horrible, insulting, defamatory way.
The Government began a phenomenally
successful program called "Cash for Clunkers" in which perfectly serviceable automobiles were destroyed and rendered inoperable
in exchange for vehicles with marginally better fuel economy at an estimated cost of $24,000 per vehicle.
Senator Ted Kennedy died, leaving
John Kerry and Barney Frank to carry on the legacy of horrendously destructive far-left Democrat legislators from Massachusetts.
September - PBO cancelled the US Missile Defense program for Eastern Europe, because he believed this show of "Smart Diplomacy"
would convince Iran not to pursue its
nuclear weapons program. In other news of smart diplomacy, Obama warmly welcomed Mo Qaddafi, Hugo Chavez, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejihad
to the opening session of the UN. Not invited: The legitimate, constitutional leader of Honduras. Obama also declared the 9-11 should no longer be considered a day of
remembrance, but instead a day in which the workers should offer the labors for the glory of the state.
During an address to Congress,
Congressman Joe Wilson responded to one of Obama's many, many lies by shouting "You lie!" The left was again outraged, and
pointed out that no president had ever, ever been heckled while giving
a speech to Congress before.
California's
farmers... driven to insolvency by a judge's edict to preserve a two inch fish... appealed to their senators to turn the water
back on. The senators replied, "Sucks to be you, losers" and "Don't call me, Ma'am!"
NY Times columnist David Brooks
revealed that he first fell in love with Obama while staring at the crease in his pants. A deranged Keith Olbermann claimed
he had the largest audience in cable news. If only Nielsen would count the voices in people's heads, it might be true. Meanwhile,
Glenn Beck... the man who always lies ... played tapes of ACORN offering to facilitate tax fraud, illegal immigration, and
child prostitution. Democrats immediately demanded an investigation... of the two journalists who exposed ACORN's illegal
activities.
Airstrip One officially recognized
environmentalism as a religion. As soon as they designate economics a superstition, the transition to leftist belief will
be complete.
October - PBO was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. While admitting that he had accomplished nothing, the Nobel Committee
said he deserved the award for being so "clean and articulate."
When word was leaked that Rush
Limbaugh might become a 2% owner in the St. Louis Rams, the progressive left MSM publicized a number of racist quotations
that... um... Limbaugh never actually said. When confronted, the MSM responded, "Who are you going to believe? Us, or a racist
who wanted James Earl Ray to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor."
And Glenn Beck... the man who
always lies ... played a video of Obama's Communications Director praising Chairman Mao and licking her lips like Mr. Ed going
for the peanut butter. A few weeks later, she was gone. A deranged Keith Olbermann dropped his pants and took a crap on his
desk, but nobody saw it.
November - Republicans handily won the governorships in New Jersey and Virginia, and lost
in a three way congressional race in NY in which no Republican was running. The left pointed to this as proof that conservatism
was dead, dead, dead! Also, Sarah Palin sold about two million copies of her book, Going Rogue, which drove the left absolutely
insane. David Letterman was hailed as a hero for not giving into a blackmailer who threatened to reveal the fact that he had
sexually harassed many female interns. The interns were allowed to keep the Palin wigs after their encounters.
Also, leaked emails from Climate
Scienticians proved that climate data were altered and deleted to artificially create "proof" of human-caused Global Warming.
Progressive Leftists responded that the data that went into the Climate Change models were every bit as valid as the data
that showed job creation under the Stimulus.
December - An enormous contingent of moonbats flew to Copenhagen
in a veritable air force of private jets, generating as much CO2 in a week as an African country emits in a year, to save
the planet from the dire consequences of wasteful CO2 production. And just to prove He has a sense of humor, God dumped half
a foot of snow on them.
Senate Democrats finally passed
a version of ObamaCare using last minute bribes to Senators Mary "Hello Sailor" Landrieu and Ben "Love You Long Time" Nelson.
On Christmas Day, a jihadist came
within seconds of detonating a bomb on an aircraft with 278 people on board. The Secretary of Homeland Security declared that
the system had worked perfectly, and the TSA would avoid future near-disasters by making it illegal for passengers to leave
their seats during the last hour of a flight.
One year down, three to go... if we're lucky.